When it hits it hits hard
This is when it starts to get really hard. I knew this was coming, but it’s 1000 times harder now than it was after my mom died. It’s been two weeks today since they found Denny and since the cops had to knock on my door and tell me what happened. I still get that sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about it and it’s so consuming. Now is when everyone else’s lives go back to normal. I mean, his friends and family miss him of course. Deeply. It’s painful for all of us who loved him. But every single second of my life has changed. Everyone else’s routines stay the same. Everything about mine is different. Everything. Every second is a reminder that Denny left us. Just doing laundry is painful for me... it’s so dumb but it makes it so real when I’m not washing his gross gym clothes... everything is a reminder. I can’t use the restroom without realizing he’s not there to watch the kids. I can't get into my car without thinking about him buying me a minivan and working so hard to ...
